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Eat and drink in Portland

by Bittersweet Child 'O Mine, Rose City Rollers
Let's start with an explanation or two of how things work in Portland. First of all, there is an easy way to distinguish where things are in Portland. The city is broken up into four main areas: Southeast, Northeast, Downtown (Westside), and North Portland (NoPo). Southeast, Northeast, and NoPo are on east the side of the Willamette ("will-AM-it") River, and Downtown is located on the west side of the river. North and south districts are divided by one of Portland's main thoroughfares, Burnside Avenue.

Another thing to note is that Portland has more strip clubs per capita than any other American city. An estimated 50+ strip clubs exist in Portland, and sometimes the line between a bar and strip club is often blurred, if not barely visible. It wouldn't be "outside the norm" to go into a drinking establishment, saddle up to the bar, and knock back a few drinks before you even realize that "Hey, there is a naked lady dancing in the corner, and is that a stage too?" Local folks treat strip clubs just like any other bar because the drinks are not expensive and there is rarely a door charge. So if you are going out for a drink, please keep an open mind and have fun!

Downtown (SW and NW)

Mary's Club
Stiff drinks, great tacos and friendly women! The mother of all strip clubs, Mary's kicked off Portland's topless trend in 1965, and continues to earn its landmark status daily. Artful dancers take a more burlesque approach to the (tiny) stage, presenting unique routines which often feature astonishing acts of contortionism and top-notch pole work. Check out the murals on the back wall! Great happy hour till 4:30pm and tacos next door served till 11:00pm. Pick up a souvenir jacket, they are about $10 and well worth the memory!

129 SW Broadway, 503-227-3023

The Matador
A deep pocket of dive bar ambiance, affectionately referred to by the locals as the ˆîMata-whore', this unpolished gem is tucked away surprisingly in the downtown area. Take a step back in time to when people smoked in bars with dim lighting, velvet paintings hung on the wall proudly, your beer came with a cheap whiskey back, the juke box didn't suck, and the bathrooms were awkward and not wheelchair friendly. The drinks here are among the cheapest and strongest downtown! A real treasure of a place, you could easily waste a few hours there and not miss the outside world. Go there, make friends, take pictures in the photo booth and check out the men's bathroom, you won't be disappointed. Happy hour every day 12:00-7:00pm $2.50 wells, $1 PBR.

1967 W Burnside St, 503-222-5822

Kelly's Olympian
If you like motorcycles, then this bar is must see! They are a generous sponsor of one of the Rose City Rollers' home teams, Break Neck Betties, and very roller derby friendly. You can even stop by with your skates on! Good drinks, good food, good music and a bump free floor for skating or dancing. There is usually a great band playing at night and the cover charge is only a few bucks and well worth it! $3 super yum breakfast served all day. Open 9am to 2:30am M-F, 10am-2:30am Sat-Sun. $1.00 - 4.50 menu, $2.75 wells and microbrews 4:00-7:00pm.

426 SW Washington St, 503-228-3669

Paddy's Bar & Grill
Home of "The Wall". The wall is 16 feet high and accessible only by a ladder. The shelves are filled with spirits from around the world. I challenge anybody to find a more in depth selection of whiskey! If you like whiskey, you must visit Paddy's, it's really not an option to skip it. This Irish pub is located in the heart of downtown, actually has good food and ten taps of craft brewed beers to choose from.

65 SW Yamhill St, 503- 224-5626

Ground Kontrol
Every Atari game under the sun. Upstairs dedicated to pinball, and they have beer, enough said. Grab a Miller Highlife tall-boy and try to best your Frogger score. Pick up a sweet t-shirt in between games of Donkey Kong and Street Fighter. No smoking.

511 NW Couch St, 503-796-9364

Southeast

Southeast is very heavily populated with neighborhood pubs, probably more so than any other area. Drinking in southeast is more of a dive bar hop type of event than is the swanky bars of downtown. Here are the Top Five, wait...who am I kidding... make it the Top Ten roller girl friendly bars in SE.

Plan B
Rose City Rollers have plenty of after-parties here. The drinks are great, the decor is eccentric (lots of dead things) and the bathrooms are clean. The food menu has lots of choices, even Vegan options, and of course there is pinball action to be had!

1305 SE 8th St 503-230-9020

The Speakeasy
This bar is located in the basement of an old (very old) apartment building, and is chock full of dive bar charm! The drinks are cheap, the grilled cheese sandwich is good, and the shuffleboard is free.

609 1/2 SE Taylor St 503-234-8991

Kay's Bar
When you dream of a roller girl friendly bar heaven with super great bartenders, cheap drinks and good food, this is the place that has been haunting those dreams. Located in the Sellwood neighborhood and very near our practice space, this bar is the Rose City Rollers favorite post-practice watering hole.

6903 SE Milwaukie Blvd 503-232-4447

Slingshot Lounge
Located across the street from the gun shop. A nice long bar, big comfy booths and plenty of pinball. Drinks are stiff and cheap and they even have great snack food served until the wee hours of the morning, try the "frito pie". 5532 SE Center St 503-445-6649

The B-Side Tavern
This spot has a good jukebox, interesting art, and is located right off of Burnside. This is what a regular had this to say, "Cheap drinks, solid service and charming regulars. By charming I mean hot boys with skateboards and jobs." 'Nuff said.

632 E Burnside St. 503-233-3113

Clinton Street Pub
A Southeast staple of drinking fun-times to be had. The pinball action is best in town! Stumble in and waste an afternoon with a friend, or make a new one!

2516 SE Clinton St 503-236-7137

The Night Light Lounge
Another roller girl favorite and sponsor of Rose City's butt-rockin' home team, the Guns N' Rollers. The drinks are very special, with so many house crafted masterpieces, the nachos are darn good, and the place is comfortable to hang out in. Happy Hour from 3:00-7:00pm daily: $3-5 menu, $2.50 well, $3 microbrews, $1.50 domestics, $3 wine

2100 SE Clinton St 503-731-6500

Chopsticks
Do you like Karaoke? If so, this place is the mecca land of song! Very friendly people await your arrival and rendition of 'Total Eclipse of The Heart'. Go there early and get your karaoke fix before the crowd hits, don't eat the food, and order beer in a tall can.

2651 E Burnside St. 503-234-6171

Electric Castle Wunderland, The Avalon
Do you like Skee-Ball, or Dance Dance Revolution? If so, this is your spot! A must-see place filled with great ways to spend a dime, nestled in the heart of SE in between a bunch of pubs. I highly recommend stopping by and winning some tickets to get that handcuff key chain your sweetie wants.

3451 SE Belmont St. 503-238-1617

Dot's Cafe
"There's few better ways to get rid of a Sunday morning hangover than staring at the wallpaper of this under-lit, kitsch-strewn (big-eye paintings, doll-part-chandelier) wonderland." (Courtesy of Barflymag.com) So many ways to eat fries, try them with spicy tofu sauce, you won't be sorry!

2521 SE Clinton St. 503-235-0203

Northeast

Billy Ray's Neighborhood Dive
"Servicing a proud community of aging punkers, unabashed drunkards and those new transplants so patently thrilled with Portland and northeast and an untroubled future of pool and enlightened jukeboxes and pennies-a-serving beer, Billy Ray's eternally reminds of the morning after a good party. The sign, when lit, reads only Tavern and the floor plan (shotgun first floor bar; rickety staircase to upstairs games ˆîn couches) suggests a sharecropper frat house, but, after a few steins of Pabst, you'd probably pledge." (Courtesy of Barflymag.com)

2216 NE Martin Luther King Blvd 503-287-7254

Beulahland
Great drinks, good music, fun decor, need we say more? Mac N' Cheese is $4.00 and super yummy, you can get a good, cheap breakfast without the long wait (biscuits and gravy come highly recommended). The choices of beers on tap are enough to keep even the pickiest beer drinker satisfied and the pool table works, also there is a computer set up with free internet access so you can check your email. This cool bar also sponsors one of Rose City's home teams, the High Rollers. Happy hour 4-6:00pm $2.50 pints of microbrews.

118 NE 28th Ave 503-235-2794

The Space Room
"With fifty some-odd years anchoring the "Stumble Zone," the Space Room exerts a powerful tractor beam, drawing all walks to its tattered, Sputnik-era, booth-laden, perpetual midnight lounge. A bubbly crowd of mostly twenty-somethings may be found here most any evening, making this a good choice for an off-night birthday celebration. Swell staff, good juke. More smoke than you can shake a cancer stick at, however. Free hors devours 4:30-6:00 M-F." (Courtesy of Barflymag.com)

4800 SE Hawthorne Blvd 503-235-8303

The Kennedy School
"Tourists in Los Angeles are inevitably shunted to a film studio, New York has the Empire State Building, San Antonio the Alamo. We take out-of-towners to The Kennedy School. It may not be among Portland's most famed landmarks, but few things better symbolize the city's commitment to both education and drunkenness than this middle school freely given to the McMenamin brothers for reclamation toward bar. Bars, rather - the mixology tutorial of The Cypress Room, Detention's smoking in the boys room decadence, the Honors Bar fresh-squeezed libations, Theater Bar's pricey beer and cheap flicks. It really was a school just a generation or two ago, but I'll guarantee the martinis have improved." (Courtesy of Barflymag.com) $0.75 off wells, $3.15 pints 4-6:00pm

5736 NE 33rd Ave 503-249-3983

The Sandy Hut
Affectionately known as the "Handy Slut" by locals. This seedy little spot located in the purple triangle building off of Sandy Blvd, is known for the place to pick up dirty tail, the kind of dirty tail you want for just one night, not for bringing home to meet the parents. Drinks are very cheap, PBR flows in Tall boy cans and there is food too. However, steamer clams are NOT available contrary to what the sign claims outside, but they do have cheap breakfast foods. This place is exactly what a dive bar should be, dirty bathrooms, fried food, and pool sharking surly regulars.

1430 NE Sandy Blvd 503-235-7972

North Portland (NoPo)

The Alibi The Tiki gods awaits you at the Alibi, along with your future karaoke friends. The happy hour is great, the decor is AMAZING, and the extreme tropical kitsch begs for a bizarre photo shoot. $2.95 menu, $1.75 select domestics, $2.50 select wells 3:00-7:00pm M-F. $2.95 menu, $2.50 Bloodies 11:00am-7:00pm Saturdays (free midnight buffet, too). 4024 N Interstate Ave 503-287-5335

Kenton Club Known as "The World Famous Kenton Club" this place is a must see for any fan of derby, parts of The Kansas City Bomber was filmed here and they are still extremely roller girl friendly! The food is really good, including some special barbecue bites, and the drinks do not disappoint! Very close the Expo Center.

2025 N Kilpatrick St 503-285-3718

Ponderosa Lounge
"As if Oregon didn't already have enough to boast about, we are also home to one of the World's Top Ten Truck Stops, which in turn, is home to the best country bar in Portland. This humongous honky-tonk easily seats several hundred, and its two Texas-size dance floors are filled with boot-scootin'-boogiers most any night of the week. Ten gallon hats, tight Wranglers with satellite dish-size rodeo buckles, and shiny boots are standard issue for the multi-generational crowd." (Courtesy of Barflymag.com) Located right across the interstate from the Expo Center.

Jubitz Truck Stop, 10350 N Vancouver Way 503-345-0300

Night Hawk
What you see is what you get with this bar. A classic NoPo bar, decades of working class have frequented this place on payday to slam back a few Rainer beers and eat a hamburger with cheese. The drinks are strong, bartenders are gruff and there is plenty of video poker for everyone.

6423 N Interstate Ave 502-328-5717

Mississippi Pizza Pub
The pizza is super tasty and the flavor selection cant be beat, they even have gluten-free pizza! There is also 'The Atlantis Lounge' located in the back, very cozy and the bartender is a world class mixologist. $3.25 pitchers of Pabst and $6 pitchers of microbrews daily from 4:00-6:00 PM. Daily food special from 12:00-4:00 PM includes a slice and a salad for $4.75

3552 North Mississippi Ave 503-288-3231